Where to start. Ugh. Where to start, indeed.
Well, I have fluffed an idea which appears to be taking over for the previous intended book in the Cryptid Series. Its working title is The God Trip. It has potential, and I think I can use as a theme the Urban Dictionary definition. There’s one problem:
The fire to even get a manuscript started is gone.
It’s coming out tomorrow . . . not with a bang but with a whisper. I feel terrible, because this is a book worth extra marketing effort. It’s darker and longer than the first book, but it is that foundation novel establishing the directions that the three central characters from ‘Til Undeath will be taking in the series.
Interviews are difficult for me.
When I released ‘Til Undeath Do Us Part, I had interview opportunities. I did one for Indie Book Promo right at release. The other potential interviewers were kind people who didn’t seem to have questions for me to answer. I was supposed to build my own Q&A for them to host–something as frustrating as writing my own back cover copy or sales page blurb.
That is a mistake I regret, up there with missing my chance at a podcast interview in December of 2015. I was ashamed that I had missed my first publishing deadline on Man and Brother, and I was still terrified of being asked questions and finding myself dumbstruck and mute.
I failed as a writer in 2015–not because of my Cryptid Series sales numbers but because I turned my back on interviews.
Writing the first line of a web journal entry like this one is very hard.
I want to come out chipper and gleeful, like my book is the cure for the everyday reading difficulties that all good and decent people must have suffered since the beginning of time:
The reality is that I am exhausted. Am I happy? Sometimes I want to weep in relief and exhaustion and frustration: relief because it’s out, exhaustion because I regularly spent 16-hour days writing and editing and rewriting, and frustration because I want it to be error-free.
October 6, 2016. October 6, 2o16. October 6, 2016.
That date is spinning around my head as I look back over the past eighteen months. Man and Brother (working title: His Brother’s Keeper). That very first draft I did for National Novel Writing Month 2012 is so far from what’s being released in a week.
Mind you, this is a year and 5 days after I intended to release it, so this moment is bittersweet.
I have calluses on my fingertips. From writing, yes. From redrafting outlines and series continuity notes on the Cryptid Series, yes. So those of you who want me to suffer because Man and Brother isn’t out yet? I am.